The Year in Preview

2005 was an interesting year for American politics. History will show it to be the year that the cracks started to show in the Bush administration and yet the Democratic Party remained in as much discord as it ever has. Despite having the most incompetent presidency since Andrew Johnson on the ropes the entire last third of the year, the Democrats managed to tripped and fell just like President Johnson did. Here are my predictions for 2006 in American Politics.

• People Most Likely To Lose Their Jobs in 2006: Andrew Card Jr., Scott McLellan, Donald Rumsfeld, Karl Rove. If none of these clowns are fired in 2006, Bush is literally as out of touch with reality as Reagan was in the late years. I don’t mean the late years of his time as president.
  
  
• Most Likely To Become Secretary of the Treasury: Andrew Card Jr.
  
  
• Death of 2006: Gerald Ford
  
  
• Most Likely Exchange to be Heard at a Congressional Hearing in 2006:
  
  Senator: Mr. President, how can you justify using executive powers to completely penetrate the civil liberties of Americans?
  Bush (or a proxy): Extraordinary circumstances.
  Senator: No… seriously.
  Bush: Fuck you, bitch. I’m untouchable. Q-E-D! *poll bump*
  
  
• Democrat Who’s Hype Will Peak: Hillary Clinton. Hillary is not going to run for President. Why doesn’t she come out and say it? And does she really think she can win? Only Oprah can win.
  
  
• Most Likely To Continue to Draw Man-Love From Postmaster-General and Chris-face: Special Prosecutor Scott Fitzgerald
  
  
• Superstar Democrat in 2006: Joe Biden. Homeboy has been a Senator for 33 years! More than half his life! He will be the Democratic Nominee in 2008. Look for Viginia Governor Mark Warner to begin quietly fundraising for a 2007 Senate run.
  
  
• Superstar Republican in 2006: Why, John McCain, of course. Watch for McCain to continue to run all over Bush and the Inner Circle in retaliation for the ‘McCain has a Black Baby’ stunt. Campaign finance, the PATRIOT Act and the War in/on Iraq will be John McCain’s bread and butter this year. John McCain is the Chuck Norris of politics.
  
  
• Hallmark Moment of the 2006: Bush’s Approval Rating falling below the floor of Nixon’s.
  
  
• Senate Composition As A Result Of The 2006 Midterms: R: 49 D: 51
  
  
• House Composition As A Result Of The 2006 Midterms: R: 219 D: 215 I: 1
  
  
• Most Likely to Ask US Troops to Leave in 2006: A silly and naive new Iraqi Parliament. A good follow up to that might be “Most Likely To Run Away So Fast That They Leave A Cloud Shaped In Their Likeness Suspended In The Air: The Bush Administration.”
  
  
• Most Likely to be Seen Coming Off A Plane Right Around September 2006: American Troops from Iraq. Completely caving to public pressure and begging from the RNC, it looks like troops are coming home in time to be the centre of political attention for the Midterm elections.
  
  
• Supreme Court Issue of the 2006: NSA Wiretaps. Too many constructionists on the court to hold that one up. Bush will stick by it because he really has nothing better to do.
  
  
• Political Issue of 2006: Iraq. Casualties will hit 2500 before the Midterms. Everyone is going to want to divest themselves from any Iraq related decisions that might be made. The economy could make some noise if those from one side of the income canyon start screaming at their (much) richer counterparts on the other side.
  
  
• Issue That Will Further Polarize Normal Americans in 2006: The Death Penalty. This debate faded from the public with Tookie Williams’ last breath, which is extraordinary and surprising since the issue was so hotly contested before he was executed. However, this issue will come up in the next month with a vengeance when the results of the DNA tests done in the case of Roger Keith Coleman, who was executed in 1992. It will be surprising to see what form the debate takes if it is scientifically proven that Coleman is innocent.